Percy Jackson: Champion of the Love Goddess
by ItsComplicatedOkay
Summary: After the events of the Giant War pass, Percy gets depressed. Poseidon begs Aphrodite to help Percy get over his depression, so she makes him her Champion. What will happen when Percy has to serve the Love Goddess? DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended
1. Introductions

**Yes, I decided to do this one, so here it is. Remember that this comes after the HoO series.  
**

**Edit: I edited some spelling errors**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter One: Introductions**

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I was running fast, my feet barely touching the ground. I was chasing a target who had done "Terrible Deeds", according to my patron. He was running as fast as he could, but he couldn't outrun me. Training really took a toll on me, especially archery, but it really increased my endurance. There was nothing that could stop me.

Wait. What do you mean by "Ohh, this is one of those Chaos fanfics!" I mean who IS Chaos? He wasn't in any of my books! **(AN: Breaking the fourth wall like a boss!) **And no, I'm neither a Guardian of the Hunt nor Artemis' Champion. What in Hades are you talking about? Artemis would rather kill me then suicide before she would let a man be in the Hunt, much less Her Guard. Oh, and shut up about how "Forbidden love forms between us!". There is a reason that it's called "Forbidden". And besides, I can't love anymore. Not after she died.

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~Flashback to the past!~

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_"Why, why did you take the knife for me!" I yelled at Annabeth's deceased body. A dracanea was about to stab me in the back, breaking my spine, when she jumped in front of me. She was too far away to block it effectively, so she used her eye socket as a shield. The blade went straight through her eye, stabbing her brain. I exploded, just like in Mt. Saint Helens, only I was more powerful. I didn't faint, but I was close. All the monsters in a three thousand meter radius disintegrated. The gods, taking advantage of my energy burst, stabbed the Giants as my explosion hit them, sending them back to Gaea. I then turned my attention to Annabeth's body. I made an eyepatch out of my shirt and put it on Annabeth's left socket._

_After the war, things only got worse. My parents died, thanks to a tiny group of monsters. Thanks to that, I stopped going outside my cabin for good. The door to the cabin was barricaded, and whenever an Iris Message appeared, I slashed through it before whoever they were could utter a word. Depression was a part of my life. I was close to cutting myself when Dad showed up._

_"Hello, son," said Poseidon._

_"Not to be rude," I said, "but what are you doing here? Isn't there a law that says that you can't visit your kids?"_

_"I'm here to stop your depression," I protested but was silenced. "As for your second question, I can bend the rules a little."_

_So, since I didn't have a good reason to stay, we teleported to Olympus. I arrived in Aphrodite's palace with my dad. It had pink everywhere. Pink walls, pink floors, pink dressers. Then the goddess herself appeared. She was as beautiful and stunning as always, but I didn't feel anything. I had lost the capacity to love._

_"You promised to help him. You promised to relive him of his grief. So do it," said Poseidon in a calm, commanding voice._

_She then went to "inspect" me, if inspect means feeling my abs. "I'm sorry, Uncle, but his grief is just too deep. And I can't make him forget the reason of his depression. It's implanted in his brain, and if I remove it, it could kill him," said the Love Goddess, rubbing her hand over by pecs. "But I can offer him something to keep his mind off Annabeth."_

_I started getting apprehensive, "What offer?"_

_"Be my Champion."_

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~Ending Flashback!~

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So I did. Why? It's because everytime I help her stop teen pregnancy, kill a person who cheated on his/her spouse, or help a person fall in love, I get less sad. Plus, camp training has gone sub-par since Annabeth left us. The other campers weren't as good as her at teaching. The training I get with Aphrodite is actually better. For example:

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~Yet another flashback~

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_"You're an archer?" I said in unbelief. Aphrodite had perfect aim, hitting the bullseye every time. She even split a few bolts._

_Aphrodite said, "Yes, young pupil. In the early days, when I replaced Eros, or Cupid, I had to do the shooting myself! Hades, I think I rival even my twin siblings!" Great, even someone as vain as Aphrodite can use a bow while I can't. Then she flicked my forehead. Hard._

_"You don't call your patron 'Vain', young Perseus," said Aphrodite as she summoned a mirror to check her make up, contradicting herself. __  
_

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~End of flashback~

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So I learned archery. Yep, Percy's leveled up! So after I could shoot pretty well Aphrodite gave me a bow. It was named, you guessed it, after Aphrodite herself.

It was called "Aphrodite's Love". The bow was made of dense gold, with a heart covering the grip and the curled ends. It came with a golden quiver with another heart on it. There were three divisions, Celestial bronze arrows, normal arrows, and… love arrows. These special arrows had heart shaped heads, and when hit by one, it increases your feelings for your "special someone" tenfold. It was like love was a seed, and the love arrows were fertilizer. I tried stabbing myself with one, but nothing happened.

Back to reality. So here I am, shooting at the cheating husband. Not with the love arrows, but with normal ones. Aphrodite said that this guy didn't deserve to live, so I came to shoot him. Then he stopped in his tracks.

"Please don't kill me! I have a wife and three kids!" Said the man.

"Yeah, a wife you cheated on!" I yelled as I pulled out a steel arrow, and stabbed him. Then I used another gift of Aphrodite's, The Wings of Cupid. Yep, I can fly, and Zeus can't shoot me down! So I flew to my lady's palace.

"Mission Complete, my Lady!" I said, doing a fist pump.

"Well, that's good. I can see that that wife will find a better husband in two years time," said Aphrodite. "But I have another task for you."

"What, my lady?" I asked, surprised at the serious tone she used. She was always happy and bubbly. It must be a dangerous mission.

"Shoot Artemis and her Hunt. Preferably with the Love arrows."

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**So there you have it. I will post the second chapter soon, so R&R till I do.**

**Edit: I have a poll where you can vote for your favorite female lead/recurring character in PJ:CotLG on my profile, though only check the poll after you've finished reading Chapter Seven.**

**Bye!**


	2. Artemis Loves Who?

**Welcome back! Thank you for all of the reviews, favorites and Alerts. I can't believe how fast the reviews and the other stuff came, compared to _Fire Meets Water _and _P__ercy Jackson: Uprising_**. **Anyway, on to the review replies!**

**keenbeenz: I'll try to update every week, but no promises!**

**Avardsin: I'll fix that some other time, and thanks for finding the typo!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

**Enjoy the new chapter!**

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Chapter Two: Artemis loves who?

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"But she'll send me to Tartarus!" I exclaimed. I could envision myself being turned into an animal and having her Hunters to hunt me down. If she's merciful.

"Well I want to see who she's in love with. She's been acting way too blank and unfocused lately. She's not even able to get rid of Apollo any more," stated Aphrodite.

"Bu-"

"Plus, they won't recognize you with your mask on. Also, in the past, you couldn't shoot for your life, so you'll be the last person they would expect." Wow, Aphrodite was actually using logic. Then she flicked me.

"What did I say about making fun of your patron?"

"Sorry my lady," I replied politely. "Fine, but I'm still skeptical."

Then she tempted me, "Well, a lot of new-found love could lift a lot of grief!"

"I'm in," I said. "When do I set out, Lady Aphrodite?"

"Now, but make sure to return _after_ 4 o'clock in the morning. I have to... _entertain_ Ares for a while," said Aphrodite.

I answered, "Okay, just **not** on my bed! Remember the _last_ time?" I stretched my cupid wings and flew out of Aphrodite's window, exposing me to the cold midnight New York air. Lights were everywhere, and people were still walking around. New York never sleeps.

_They're in Central Park_, said Aphrodite in my mind. So I did a dive, plummeting through the air towards their camp. I could see a campfire, with sixteen silver tents surrounding it. Silhouettes were on logs surrounding the camp, and there were a few scattered around, probably for defense. I swooped down on a nearby branch, readying my bow.

"Now, ready yourselves, Hunters, to see another awful man for this week's Man Hunt, a show meant to strengthen your hatred for the opposite gender," said Artemis. "The filth's name is..." that's where I zoned out. Another horrible person, blah blah blah. Artemis is getting old and predictable. Then Artemis shifted.

"Hm, my Man-Sense is tingling. Hunters, spread out and find the offender!" Then they started walking away from the campfire. Perfect! I aimed at one and shot, hitting the Huntress on the small of her back.

"Ryan!" she yelled. See, a side-effect of the love arrow was that the victim would say the name of the object of their affection. Her voice summoned the other Hunters to her, which made it easier for me.

"Steve!" "Tyler!" "Steven!" The screams filled the air, following an arrow near my vicinity. One even got so close that it grazed my belt, almost breaking it. I held my hand over the hole and it closed up. Yep, I have the very useful power of healing clothes. Then someone tackled me from behind, making the both of us fall down.

"My lady!" said Thalia's voice. "My lady, I have the- Nico!" She yelled as I stabbed her with the love arrow. Perfectly harmless, disappears after it's made contact with a conscious being. I shoved her off and bolted with my stuff, dodging the arrows flying my way.

I decided to risk it. I yelled, "Go to sleep!" in the most powerful voice I could muster as the arrows stopped flying. Another power Aphrodite gave me was charmspeak, and only minor gods and above could refuse, excluding fellow charmspeakers. Then I readied both my bow and Riptide. This would be me against Artemis. I crouched low, having both the disadvantage of Riptide's glow and the advantage of surprise. Then I heard a rustle from behind.

Artemis appeared from the bush, hunting knives pointed forward. I raised Riptide, blocking the blow. I stood up to my six foot frame and tried to knock her out using the flat of my blade. She ducked and lashed out, almost cutting my guts out if I hadn't stepped to the side. I slammed the butt of my hilt into the back of her head hard as she passed by, making her woozy. I guess after fighting Annabeth for years really taught me not to go easy on girls. I hit her head again, making her pass out. The shock from both my sudden assault and my physical force was just too much for her tired godly body. I brought out an arrow and stabbed her with it.

"Percy," she moaned in her unconsciousness. What the Hades? Wasn't my explanation from Chapter One enough? This was impossible! I checked my watch, four thirty. I had been waiting and hiding for three and a half hours? Wow, my ADHD has really toned down!

I stretched my wings, and pushed off of the ground, flying towards Olympus. Luckily, since I was a servant of a goddess and could fly, I could just fly through the air barriers, instead of dealing with the stupid guard. I flew in just as Ares left the house. Aphrodite only had her underwear on, sticky and sweaty from the... activity she just did, though the love goddess in underwear didn't faze me anymore.

"My lady, the deed was done," I said. "Now can I go to sleep?"

Aphrodite said, "Wait. Who is Artie's crush?"

I started to stutter. "I-I... um... you see... Peter! Um... Peter... Johnson!" Then she pursed her lips.

"Tell me the truth," said Aphrodite without charmspeak, "or I'll make you."

I started getting a little comfortable with the lie, "Nope, her crush _is_ Peter Jackson- I mean Johnson." Emphasis on a _little_ comfortable.

Then she swooped upwards and kissed me. No, she isn't using "The Power of Love and Friendship!" or anything stupid like that. She was using a certain form of magic, since I was immune to charmspeak. The magic in this kiss caused men and homosexual women to tell her anything, because this was the most pleasurable kiss in the world. She called it her "Godly Kiss", and it was pretty gross when she demonstrated this. She would just pluck a random male godling from the street and kiss him, ask him a question, and sent him on his way while she made me do the same thing to the opposite sex. Let's just say it didn't work out well. I had to drink twenty cans of ambrosia, one every day. Plus, I couldn't move.

She broke apart. "Now tell me the truth."

"M-Me." Then she laughed. "Ha! I knew it! Artie likes Percy and Percy likes... no one! Ha ha!"

I grumbled under my breath. "Can I sleep now?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't sleep in your bed if I were you." Cue more grumbling from me. I walked into Aphrodite's room, slipped into her bed and fell asleep.

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**So there it is. Tell me if you guys find any typo's or grammatical errors**, **and I'll fix them some day.**

**Goodbye!**


	3. The Moon Goddess Strikes Back

**Sorry to keep you waiting! So, yeah, sorry for the short chapter, but I thought of a cool story idea, but NOT for PJO. Heck, it's not even for FanFiction. It's actually a story for FictionPress, and here is the idea:**

**Affinity (Working Title)****: Locke, a socially awkward teenage loner, finds out that the world is out to get him, with deadly pens, chairs, and the ever ominous baby rattle and that he can use his only friend, Serena, who can transform into inanimate objects, against evil and to find out the mystery behind these abnormalities.**

**So, tell me if you want me to write this one, or lift _Percy Jackson: __Uprising's_ Hiatus.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, which is actually owned by Rick Riordan**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Three: The Moon Goddess Strikes Back**

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I woke up to a certain Love Goddess spooning me, but that was pretty much normal when you live in her palace. If you sleep here, she will cuddle with you eventually. I was about to shove her off quietly when the doorbell rang, waking up Aphrodite, who was still in her "pajamas", if a bra and panties count as pajamas.

"Hopefully it won't be Ares asking for another 'meeting'," I grumble-whispered as we both got up. "I like my bed gunk-free thank you very much." I went out of her bedroom, Aphrodite in tow behind me. I opened the door revealing...

Lady Artemis. What would the Maiden Goddess do knocking on Aphrodite's door at ten AM? Oh yeah, to see if Aphrodite has been messing with her, which was true.

"Uh... Lady Artemis, what are doing here?" I asked. Artemis looked shocked, her pupils dilating. I heard from somewhere that your pupils dilate when you see your crush, so this means that the Love Arrows worked. Or maybe because I was only in my boxers. Yes, boxers _do_ qualify as pajamas, and no, that doesn't make Aphrodite's clothes qualify.

"I-Um..." then she was interrupted.

"Percy, who is it? I want to get back to bed already!" said Aphrodite. Let's just say, it got really messy after that, but eventually, I got Artemis off of Aphrodite.

"S-Sorry sister. I'll just leave now." She then teleported to who-knows-where. Then my lady grinned hugely.

"It looks like someone's _jealous_, Perseus!" I groaned.

"If you don't mind, my lady, I'll leave now," I stated, walking towards the door. I was _really_ hungry, and in the mood for a good cheeseburger to start the day. She waved me away, so I walked out the door, the sun hitting my skin. I decided not to fly, because I'm pretty sure they don't serve winged demigods. As I walked towards the elevator, I felt a sudden presence stalking me. I pulled out Aphrodite's Love and Riptide and pointed the bow at a nearby bush.

"Show yourself!" I yelled. Then a blinding light came from the bush. Great, I've got a god following me. I stowed my weapons and went on my way.

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"Thank you, and come again. Next!" the bored cashier lady said, giving me my tray. I walked over to a booth and sat down, practically drooling at the Big Mac. I was about to have a bite when a flash of blinding light enveloped the booth. Then Artemis' teenage form appeared in front of me.

"Hello Perse- I mean Percy!" said Artemis. She was wearing a silver t-shirt with jeans, but that wasn't the problem. Artemis the Chaste was wearing make-up. She got a fry and popped it in her mouth. Then spewed it out. "I can't believe you eat this greasy mortal gunk." Then she made a box of... meat cubes appear. Then she offered me some.

"Would you like some bear meat, instead of that sad excuse of a potato?"

"Um, no thank you Lady Artemis, but-"

"No need to call me Lady Artemis, just Artemis is fine," she said, winking at me. I think that Love Arrow made her crazy. I was about to reply when _another_ immortal interrupted.

"Ooh, move over Artie, I wanna sit!" said Aphrodite, stealing a fry. I had a feeling that this was just going to get worse. Artemis was about to protest when I stood up and left, taking the burger with me. I started running, trying to gain speed for flight, but was tackled down. The person turned me around, revealing Artemis, who looked like she was having her... special "girl time" aka, her period.

"LOVE ME!" she yelled. I saw Aphrodite hovering above, trying not to laugh. Artemis must not know how to handle being love sick.

"Fix her Aphrodite, I beg you!" I pleaded, Artemis shaking me like crazy, telling me to love her. She nodded, summoning a... frying pan. She then proceeded to whack Artemis, knocking her out.

"There, fixed! Happy now?" asked Aphrodite.

"You do know that I meant for you to tone down the love, right?" I replied.

"Well, for that, you'd have to do something for me." That did not sound good, but I didn't want to be stalked by Artemis forever, and this quick fix wouldn't suffice.

"Fine. What do you want me to do?"

"Go on a date with an Athena spawn from Camp Half Blood. I need to prove to Athena that love _does_ rule over mind!"

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**So R&R, and wish me a Happy Birthday on the 20th!**

**Goodbye, and don't forget to comment on my story idea!**


	4. Blind Dates and Artemis the Chaste

**Hello, fellow PJO fans, and welcome back. Thank you all for the 22 favorites and the 30 that "alerted" it! Also, this is my most reviewed story, with a total of 26! Yay, virtual cookies for everyone!**

**Warning: This story, especially this chapter, will break the fourth wall a _lot _and has quite a few references, which will be signified by a bold asterisk.**

**On to the anonymous review replies:**

**DiamondHeart202: I'm not sure if I'll include Thalico with all the pairings I already have, and no secret crushes. I'll address the problem in the next chapter, maybe.**

**reader of the book:**** I made Aphrodite a hypocrite, as exposed in the first chapter.**

**Also, this is NOT a Pertemis. Sorry Pertemis fans!  
**

**Disclaimer:I don't own PJO**

**Enjoy the new chapter!**

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Chapter Four: Blind Dates and Artemis the Chaste

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"So... how's life?" I said to my blind date, Sami, a daughter of Athena. We were at McDonalds, going on the date that Aphrodite forced me in.

"Meh, fine," she said, not even looking up from her book. Then I saw the cover.

"You've haven't read the Hunger Games Trilogy***** yet?" I said. They were my second favorite book series, besides a certain one... and Aphrodite cured me of my dyslexia, so I've taken a certain liking to books. As for why Aphrodite cured me, it was because she wanted me to read her... risque and suggestive bedtime stories before she fell asleep if Ares didn't "accompany" her, though he came a lot.

"Nope, just finished reading the Harry Potter***** series. Anyway, you read? My mother would never have suspected that a Sea Spawn would be fond of books," said Sami. Ouch.

"You can thank a certain goddess for that. Not your mom. What'd your favorite series?"

"Umm... Kane Chronicles*****." What? The only thing that was outstanding about that series are their covers. It's like encasing crap in gold wrapping paper. **(AN: Yeah, I don't like the Kane Chronicles that much. In my opinion, Rick puts a lot more effort in PJO and HoO than TKC, but the covers are amazing at least.) **

"Well, mine is the Percy Jackson and the Olympians***** series," I said.

"Really? I don't really like the main character. He's such a **dork**," said Sami with a disgusted look on her face. Then her nose went diving back into her book. Great, I lost her again. If I didn't get her to like me by the end of the date, Aphrodite wouldn't diminish Artemis' love for me.

I decided to try small talk with my petite date again, "So, who do you like better, Peeta or Gale?"

"I like Gale. It appears he's smarter _and_ more skilled."

"Really? Cause I'm Team Peeniss!" That's when she doubled over.

"Team _what_? I think it's called Katta, and the books aren't about love. They're about a post-apocalyptic totalitarianism and how the people dealt with it, but I guess you would focus on the fluff due to Aphrodite being your patron," said Sami, turning what seems to be the final pages of the book. I sighed. I had to turn the tide some how. Then I had a really great idea worthy of Palutena*****- I mean Athena.

"You know what Sami?" She looked up from her book. "You aren't pretty, you aren't beautiful." At this point, she looked ready to kill.

"You are as radiant as the sun*****," I said, quoting directly from Katniss. She smiled, leaned over the table, and kissed me. It was a nice kiss, but it was WAY too much like Annabeth's for me to enjoy.

I pulled back, fixing Sami's crooked hipster glasses. "We shouldn't do this in public, right?" She blushed and popped a fry into her mouth. We continued to talk, her giving me her undivided attention, till around three in the afternoon and left for camp.

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"See you some other time?" asked Sami. I smiled at her and saluted, giving her an indefinite yet cheezy response. She giggled and shut the door. I turned around, ready to report to Aphrodite, when I saw a certain daughter of hers with an Hispanic demigod in tow.

"Hey guys!" I said to the approaching forms of Piper and Leo, hands intertwined. Jason chose Reyna, so Leo decided to swoop in and save Piper's broken heart, friends realizing that they want to be more than friends.

"Percy, I need to talk to you. Come on you two, into my cabin," said Piper, leading us into my lady's cabin, which was devoid of half bloods. Probably out combing their hair near the lake.

"Percy, has Mom been messing with you?"

"Nothing more than the norm. Why?"

"Didn't you see the reviews lately, and haven't you've been reading your own story*****? There's Pertemis, Percabeth, Perodite, and now there might be Percy/OC! This might be too much for the mortals to handle!" stated the Daughter of Aphrodite. "Right Leo?"

Then his eyes started looking left and right. "Um, I haven't been reading this fic a lot. I actually like_ Fire Meets Water_*****, so I've been reading that instead!"

Piper was about to say something, but I interrupted. "That's actually a really good Percy/Katniss fic. And Piper, I think I'll have the Pertemis solved by the end of this chapter*****. And I don't like anyone, okay?"

We chatted a little and we parted, me flying towards Olympus and the couple probably going to make out in Leo's secret room. And yes, I know about that secret room under his bed. Beckendorf told me before he... you know.

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"See Athena, love _does_ rule over mind!" said Aphrodite, a smug look on her face.

"Fine, I will honor our bet tomorrow, Aphrodite. Goodnight," said Athena, teleporting to her temple.

"If you don't mind my asking, my lady, what was the bet?" I asked.

"Since Athena lost the bet, she has to go on a date with Poseidon! Pothena for the win!" she said, pumping her fist in the air.

"So, Lady Aphrodite, about Artemis?" I asked, anxious for it to be over.

"Yes, my young pupil, just-" Then Artemis appeared, frying pan unsheathed. She dashed under Aphrodite's guard and whacked her hard, knocking her unconscious.

"Hello, Perseus," said the Goddess of Chastity calmly, bringing out a few handcuffs. "If you won't come peacefully, then I'll just have to take you forcefully." What was she doing, and how did she get out of Hephaestus' strongest cage?

Without warning, she threw a cuff, pinning my right arm to the wall. I used "raw angel power*****" to break the wall and jumped out a window, dodging a seemingly endless supply of handcuffs. I spread my wings and glided away from Aphrodite's Palace and from Olympus. From a distance, I could hear Artemis yell, "Moon Chariot, to me!" I whipped around to see a silver chariot pulled by silver reindeer homing in on me at speeds incomprehendable. Knowing I couldn't out-fly a godly chariot, I pulled out Riptide and readied it, standing my ground. I wouldn't go down without a fight.

I held up my sword and tried to slash at the reins, but all effort was futile. Their heads connected with my stomach before I could even touch the reins, sending me plummeting thirty feet towards the ground and knocking me out.

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"It seems that you are awake, Perseus," said Artemis as I gained consciousness. I was in a dark cave, cuffed to the stone wall by my wrists, ankles, waist and forehead. In the small opening of the cave, I could make out a silver tent. We were near Artemis' camp, so I can't scream for help. Besides, the only Huntress that would and could help would be Thalia.

"It seems so, Lady Artemis," I said. She swooped in for a kiss, but I was flicking my tongue everywhere, effectively preventing her from kissing me. She stopped me by punching my already sore stomach.

"Naughty little boy," she said while rubbing her hand over my... lower parts. I had tried many times to contact a deity, Poseidon or Aphrodite, but no response.

"Now, for the main event."

"B-But you're the Goddess of Chastity! You **can't** do this! Plus, this FanFic is Rated T*****!"

"There's always a first, Perseus," she said. "And screw the ratings. We're gonna go Mature all the way!" Then I realized the gravity of the situation. Artemis was going to **rape** me. Luckily, a certain immortal came to save the day.

"Peter!" yelled Dionysus, his palm facing Artemis. At once, a purple mist came out of her mouth. He was dispelling the insanity caused by the love. Then Aphrodite came and the samething happened, only the mist was pink. At that instant, Artemis fainted.

"Wh-Why did you save me, Mr. D?" I asked. He hated ALL demigods, excluding his own, and I was _definitely _not his son.

"I owed you... for saving Pollux." Then realization hit me. In the final battle, in the land of Greece, Pollux was about to die the same way Castor died, when I blocked the blow, giving him time to escape. "And now, Johnson, we're even."

Dionysus teleported when Hephaestus showed up and broke off the chains, as a favor for his wife. He then left without saying a word. I fixed my ripped clothes and said, "Thanks for coming to the rescue, my lady. And how did Artemis escape from the cage?"

"She must've changed her form into something small," said my patron. She grabbed my hand and teleported us away. Once we were in her house, I fell asleep.

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**So, don't forget to R&R for more chappies, even if you've already reviewed. It gives me inspiration and feedback! And beware the angry Artemis in the next chapter!**

**ICO, signing off!**


	5. Champion of the Moon Goddess?

**Hey, what's up! Also, do any of you have a FictionPress account?**

**Disclamer on the first chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 5: Champion of the Moon Goddess?**

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"Percy, you have to _feel_ the food!" said Aphrodite. She gave me power over Aphrodisiac food, so I could control them, make them animated, morph them into a sword, and more. Only, it was _really_ hard to master. I tried to make a chocolate gun with almonds for bullets, but in reality it looked like poop, with chunky parts. I shifted it, so now it looked like a spiked baseball bat. Or more poop.

"Not like that Per- Oh **HEY** Artemis!" At that, I hid behind the table where I placed the chocolate. It has been three days after the "Incident" happened, and Artemis has been pissed at me. She couldn't believe that she had fallen in love with a man at one point, so _naturally_, she had to hate the object of her affection. Namely, me. Every time we meet, she would bring out her bow and point it at me.

"Aphrodite, have you seen Perseus? I need to... 'talk' to him," asked the Goddess of the Moon.

"What do you mean when you say, 'talk'? Are you going to hurt my Champion?" asked Aphrodite, concern evident in her voice. She probably doesn't want to lose her most loyal servant.

"Just tell me where he is!" yelled Artemis. Apollo must have added fuel to the fire. I believe I did see them talking before my lady led me into the Arena to practice. "Or I'll make you." Then she loaded her bow, pointing it at Aphrodite's face. I couldn't see my lady's face, but I could tell she was smirking. She twirled, grabbing a bow and pointed it at Artemis, bow also loaded.

"You must have forgotten that I too am good with a bow," said Aphrodite. She fired an arrow, knocking Artemis' bow out of her hand. She then nocked another bolt.

"Fine. I will ask someone else," said Artemis. "You have made a dangerous enemy out of me, Aphrodite." She then teleported, leaving me with my lady and my chocolate.

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**6PM, Same Day **

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"They're in front of the Garden!" said Aphrodite in my head. A couple was about to break up, but she needed them together. More drama. I swooped down, my feet touching the asphalt. I was in front of the Madison Square Garden. I had always wanted to go here when I was a kid. But not like this. I looked around, to see a couple arguing in front of a Honda Civic. I pulled out an arrow and nocked it when another arrow, different from mine hit the couple. They both screamed out of frustration and left instantly, the girl walking and the guy driving away in his sedan. When they left, I saw a feminine figure next to an arrow with a crescent arrowhead.

"Lady Artemis, Mission Accomplished," she said. That's it, I have to interfere. I jumped from my hiding place and tackled her to the ground.

"Who are you?" I asked with authority. I brought Riptide out and put it at her neck. "Tell me!"

"Servant of the Goddess of the Hunt," she said as she kicked me off her. Wait, she was Artemis' Champion! Artemis is _so _unoriginal.

"Well then, in the name of the Goddess of Love, I WILL defeat you*****!" I yelled, drawing Riptide. The mystery person drew her hunting knife and dashed towards me, swinging her knife down in an arc. I blocked and tried to go under her guard, but she sidestepped. I kicked her chest and stabbed, putting her on defense. She tried to slice me, but I side-stepped and disarmed her. Before she could react, I had her pinned to a tree, Riptide at her neck. Her mask was the only thing stopping me from revealing her identity. I ripped it off, exposing the face.

Sami.

"Sami, what the hell? Why are you working with Artemis?" I yelled.

"It doesn't hurt that she's VERY persuasive. Plus, nice pay. I mean, a hundred drachmas for one mission, that's crazy!" said Sami. "No hard feelings for dumping you, right?"

"Yeah, it's okay, I guess," I said. "Just answer one question. What were those crescent moon arrows for?"

"They're pretty much the opposite of your love arrows. By the way, your love arrows drove the Hunters with lust. Luckily, they know how to deal with it, unlike Artemis," said Sami. After that, I let her go. Loyalty and kindness got to me, okay!

Then a smirk appeared on her face, "You DO know I have another mission, right?"

"Um, what?"

"To kill you!" She lunged at me, stabbing my chest. She searched me, stealing my ambrosia and nectar. I was too weak to retaliate. The blade had gone through my heart. I was going to die, and she just walked away, like I was nothing.

Athena WAS right, my fatal flaw would be my doom. "I-I'm finished*****," I said, slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

I woke up in a hospital bed. I was about to get up when a strong yet slim hand forced me down. I looked up to see Aphrodite, a spoon in hand. She dribbled nectar in my mouth.

"Apollo said for you to stay put, mister. At least for three days," she said softly, dribbling more nectar into my mouth.

"H-How did I make it?" I asked. I WAS stabbed in the heart. Not that I'm ungrateful or anything.

"Apollo was about to hand the reins to his sister at Olympus. He was passing over the Garden when he saw fighting. He could tell from the energy radiating off that both were demigods. He was about to investigate when the perpetrator stabbed the other person and fled. The other person turned out to be you," said Aphrodite with a sad look on her face. She may not show it a lot, but it seems she really cares for her subjects. "He healed the wounds, but you almost lost all of your blood. That's why you're here, recovering. By the way, who stabbed you?"

"S-Sami Reinheart, Daughter of Athena and the new Champion of the Moon Goddess," I said, rage and betrayal evident in my tone. "She interfered in the mission and stopped them from getting back together by using a new type of arrow."

She motioned me to go on, dribbling a little more nectar into my maw. "She called it a Moon Arrow. It has a crescent shaped arrowhead, and it is like the Love Arrows, only the opposite."

"Well then, I guess you know what to do after you've healed." She said, examining Aphrodite's love

"What?" I asked.

"Destroy those arrows."

* * *

**Don't forget to R&R**

**Bye!**


	6. Artemis Blows Up!

**Hello PJ:CotLG fans, and welcome back! Thank you all for the very generous 41 reviews, 27 favorites and 40 subscriptions!**

**You guys don't seem to be bothered by my breaking the fourth wall a lot, so I've decided to keep the asterisks. Also, whoever guesses my main inspiration and/or the special reference will get the chance to earn a sneak peek at the next chappie. So keep on guessing! ****Hint:**

** 1.) I am a _HUGE _Legend of Zelda fan. Played most of their games, and my favorite one is Oot.**

**2.) I have been playing a certain game on my 3DS lately... (Came out in 2012)**

**Now on to the reviews:  
****Gold Testament: I hope that that explanation is good enough for you, 'cause that's all I've got for now, unless you can help me by giving me a better explanation.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO, Portal 2, or anything else mentioned here.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Context:**Percy has finally recovered from his wounds dealt by Sami, Artemis' new Champion. Aphrodite was about to complain to Zeus when Percy begged her not to go, due to the possibility of a war breaking out. Instead, Aphrodite decided to take the matter into her own hands.

* * *

**Chapter Six: Artemis blows up!**

* * *

"I'm going in!*****" I yelled, flying out of Aphrodite's newly-repaired window. Aphrodite said that the factory of the Moon Arrows is directly above CHB, hidden in a colossal cloud. My lady must have charm-kissed dozens of gods, maybe even a few goddesses, to get _that_ intel.

As I was approaching the said cloud, I could see a silhouette fly towards me. Then the figure came into focus. It was Sami, flying with silver wings attached to her back. Artemis the unoriginal strikes again. I wouldn't be suprised if Sami's bow was named "Artemis' Hate". Anyway, I brought out Aphrodite's Love, ready for a confrontation.

"Prepere to feel the _love_!*****" I cried, firing arrow after arrow. Since Sami wasn't used to her wings, she could only block with her dagger. I could easily out-maneuver her in the air. I stopped firing and dived, causing her to dive in an attempt to retaliate. Just as I planned. At the angle she was going down at, she couldn't dodge, so I curved upward and head butted her stomach. Getting into the groove, I used Riptide to disarm her and swiftly sliced off her wings. Luckily for me (and you readers), her wings seemed to be made of goddess energy, so it didn't hurt, and blood didn't splatter on me.

I cried "Yeah, destructimated!*****" Artemis' Champion has been taken down!

"I'm finished!*****" yelled Sami, tumbling through the clouds. I felt pitiful, so I prayed to Aphrodite to beam her up to her palace, but in captivity. She answered, surrounding Artemis' Champion with a pink aura***** and making her disappear. I turned around and headed for the Moon Arrow Factory.

When I got to the top of the cloud, I found out that the "factory" didn't live up to it's name. All it was was a long conveyor belt with Moon Arrows materializing on one end and disappearing on the other. On top of a pedestal was a seemingly perfect Moon Arrow. Then I realised what was going on. Thank you Portal 2*****!

The Arrows that were materializing were actually clones of the arrow floating on the pedestal. Maybe...

I brought out one of my Love Arrows, thinking hard about a silver crescent shaped arrow-head. The arrow instantly transformed into a perfect copy of a Moon Arrow, only with Love Arrow properties, thanks to my power over colors and patterns. I think you can see where this was going.

Before I proceeded with my plan worthy of Palutena*****- I mean Athena (Man, I keep on making that slip for some reason), I went to contact Aphrodite. I got a chunk of the cloud and turned it into mist. I fished my pockets for a drachma, throwing it in and said, "Lady Iris, I need to talk with Aphrodite." Then her image appeared.

"What's up Perseus?" asked the Goddess of Love, fixing her hair, not that she needed to. It was already perfect.

"I have a plan. Instead of simply destroying the factory, maybe we could use it to our advantage." Then I relayed my plan to her, her grin getting wider with every word I said.

"Perfect, my pupil. That'll teach old Artie not to mess with the power of Love!" said Aphrodite, fist pumping while praising my strategy. I smiled and cut off the image. She looked so cute doing that...

I walked towards the pedestal, fake Moon Arrow in hand. I stopped the conveyor belt and removed the originals, snapping their staffs in half. In a sly move Indiana Jones (Son of Hermes) would be proud of, I switched the arrows and snapped the original. Didn't need that lying around. I extended my wings and leapt off the cloud.

* * *

**Aphrodite's House, An hour later**

* * *

We were watching Aphrodite's recording of the Pothena date mentioned in Chapter Four*****, due to Sami not telling us anything. We decided to give her time for the gravity of the situation to hit her.

_"Well _excuuuuse_ me, Princess! _**(A.N.: Here's the special reference that I was talking about in the AN above!)**_" exclaimed Poseidon. She was the one who asked him out, so it was only fair that she should pay. "You need to invest in the relationship. If we split the bill, it would be like both of us are uninterested in the "pact" we're forming together."_

_She glared at him some more, her gray eyes leering into his everlasting soul. Then she kissed him over the table, him happily returning the favor._

Aphrodite turned off the TV. "See, young Perseus, Pothena above all!" Then she did a cute little victory dance. I sighed. I liked Posally better.

Then a silver blur dashed into the room. I pulled out Riptide while Aphrodite grabbed the bow she gave me and readied it. "Stay behind me, my lady," I said, pointing Riptide at the Goddess of the Hunt. She looked more pissed than ever before. I so wanted to tell her that it was better to be pissed _off_ than _on_, but I figured that this wasn't the best time to say that.

"Where. Is. My. **CHAMPION**?" yelled Artemis. For some reason, she wasn't attacking yet. Then I felt her aura.

"Lady Aphrodite, take cover!" I cried, taking a defensive position. Artemis was about to-

**BOOM!**

The whole palace disintegrated, blasting me and another silhouette into the air. Hopefully it wasn't Aphrodite. We were flying so fast, the world a blur around us. I tried to stablize my wings, but we were going too fast. My wings might've ripped off if I extended them. All in all, we were finished. Or so I thought.

Hey, what do you mean, "Oh, here's when Chaos recruits Percy!"? I thought I told you in Chapter One***** that Chaos isn't in this story. He isn't even in either of my original series.

Anyway, we slowed down eventually, so I stablized my wings and stopped entirely. Then I saw the figure fall through the air, tumbling towards the ground.

"Mysterious figure I'm coming for you!*****" I cried, diving towards the flailing person. I grabbed the person in a bridal position and dived downward, landing on the ground nicely. Then I looked at the face.

Sami.

I dropped her and pulled out Riptide, backing away considerably. She put her hands up in surrender. I know, I should've killed her then and there, but I didn't. Curse my kindness! I searched her, withdrawing her dagger and bow, which WAS named Artemis' hate. Then I backed away, Anaklusmos pointed at her.

"So, where do you think we are?" I asked. I then noticed our surroundings. Snow as far as the eye could see.

"I think we're in Antarctica."

* * *

**So remember to R&R and guess!**

**See you next time!**


	7. Antarctic Antics

**Sorry to keep you waiting! Also, there won't be too many references here, just a few. On to the Sneak Peeks:**

**Special Reference: Link's Catchphrase from his old TV series.  
Winner: topyeah19**

**Main Inspiration: Kid Icarus: Uprising  
Winner: None  
I mean come on guys, I _have_ been dropping Palutena instead of Athena in my story, I quoted the game, (Prepare to meet the light, Sorry to keep you waiting, etc.) and I mentioned a certain 3DS game that came out in 2012.**

**Reviews:  
sprakaknightz: Dude, stop it with the "thumbs-up" already. It was fine for one review, but reviewing it _five times_? That's a little too much for me.  
**

**Bigtacos4ever: Yes, they did. Since Percy managed to blow up the Giants, why can't Artemis send Percy across the world?  
**

**Hi I will KILL u: I feel so sly! You didn't notice the very tiny Perodite in the last chapter? "She looked so cute doing that", "Her hair was always perfect", etc.**

**Also, I feel the need to slow down with my upload time. I'm reaching a more serious part in my story, and I have a really hard time doing that. (CoughPropheciesCough) Anyway, the reviews are coming slower too.**

**Disclaimer on the first/sixth chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Antarctic Antics**

* * *

"So... what do we do now?" I asked. My wings were too sore to fly, and when they _do_ recover, they'll be too frosted to carry air.

"Well, we have to find three things, food, water and shelter," said Sami. "We could also use a fire."

"I know. I watch _Man Vs. Wild_," I replied. "So, where do you think the nearest town is?"

"Probably about a hundred kilometers from here. Not too many people populate this area." I nodded and we continued walking. We were just trudging through the snow at this point, no trees, no people. Nothing. I noticed Sami shivering uncontrollably, so I touched her boots, instantly making them dry.

"T-Thank you, Percy," said Sami. After a while, we had to stop to rest. We decided to make a little snow fort by making a large pile of snow and digging a little entrance, making a make-shift igloo tent thing. I held up my hands and morphed the snow into the intended shape. It turns out it's harder to control snow that it is to control water, cause the fort was a little too tiny. We would have to squeeze really tight together to fit inside. I couldn't fix it due to fatigue, because walking through the snow - without snowshoes - is very tiring.

"You want to try out the new hut?" I asked. She nodded, slowly slipping into the fort and closing her eyes. I looked up, the moon still up in the air. Sighing, I slid my way into the pseudo-igloo, pressing against Sami's five and a half foot frame. Her breasts were pressed against my chest, her breath hovering on my cheeks. There was barely any proximity to move, but at least the warmth out-weighted the awkwardness. I folded my wings over us, like a blanket. She put her head in the crook of my neck and fell asleep, with me following soon after, my dreams consisting of a certain Goddess of Love.

I woke up to a woman pressed against me. Who wasn't Sami. "What the **Hades**!" I yelled, crawling like a mad-man to get out of that fort. We were still miles away from civilization, so it was extremely unlikely for anyone else to be within thirty meters, much less pressed against me. I pulled out Riptide and pointed it at the mysterious person, who just got out of the fort.

She was extremely beautiful, the natural kind, comparable to the likes of Aphrodite, Calypso and Helen of Troy. Her eyes were red and astonishing, her hair purple and flowing. She brought out her spear and disarmed me with ease. She walked up to me and said, "My name is Snow. I'm a three-quarter blood. How about you?", flaunting her golden angelic wings.

Oh no, Nico warned me about these things, saying they've hounded him countless times, but I only ignored him, saying that I trusted the author, but now he has betrayed me. This Snow was a...

..._Mary-Sue_!

I looked around, trying to find Sami. I needed her brains to escape, for me to keep my originality. Then Snow flicked my forehead with her finger, causing me to fly a few feet backwards. I stood up, taking my time.

"Who are you?" yelled Snow.

"Percy Jackson," I said. Where was Sami? Then I noticed her sneaking up on Snow, signaling me to keep her distracted. So I kissed her, her lips moving with mine perfectly. It felt great, but was expected. She _was_ a Mary-Sue. Then Sami karate-chopped her neck, causing her to fall to the ground, unconscious.

"So... how was the kiss?" asked Sami. Why was she asking me about this?

"Perfect," I said as I noticed her frown deepen, "but she _was_ a Mary-Sue. It was a miracle that you actually knocked her unconscious. Why was she in our tent and not you?"

"She threw me aside, about _forty_ meters, and she wasn't even trying," said Sami, her eyes radiating hate towards Snow at the moment. "Can I kill her now?" I was about to say something when a brilliant idea hit me.

* * *

"Hold on tight!" I yelled, gripping Snow tightly. Sami had put makeshift reins on Snow, since her deity given wings could "fly in any condition, whether frosted and cold, or battered and old". Where she got the reins? Let's just say that Snow was in her panties. Sami was positioned behind me, holding my waist tight.

"Mrrph!" yelled Snow. I patted her back affectionately and kicked off the ground, sending us three into the air. Sami then gave out directions, steering us towards New York.

After we landed and sent Snow away, who is probably hounding Nico, we sent out to check the wreckage. Since my wings were still too cold, we had to deal with the guard.

"I need the keycard for Olympus," I asked the guard. He looked up from his book, The Serpent's Shadow, and said, "Olympus is in Greece, whack-job." Then Sami took over.

"Give it, or I'll spoil the ending!" He sighed and reached into his desk, bringing out the familiar card. While going up, we didn't hear any music. Better than playing crap. When the elevator opened, we ran out and saw Aphrodite and Artemis arguing in front of the Palace ruins.

"No, it's YOUR fault!" yelled Aphrodite, pointing her delicate finger at Artemis. Then they noticed us, Artemis' scowl getting deeper and Aphrodite's luscious lips curving into a smile.

"Hello there Lady Aphrodite!" I said. "Sorry to keep you waiting*****!" Aphrodite looked ready to hug the guts out of me when Artemis started shouting.

"Sami Reinheart, you moron! Why didn't you **KILL** him!" Artemis yelled. Then she did something _really_ out of character. She slapped Sami. Sure, Artemis can get mad at a female, but she would never hurt one, much less her Champion. That's when I noticed a glowing jewel on the back of her neck. I did thing I always do. Slice it.

The jewel shattered into pieces, shaking Artemis out of her agitation. "W-Where am I?"

"I think someone was controlling you," I said.

* * *

**Don't fret, devoted readers! There will still be funny parts in my story, but now, with the conflict with Artemis over, the _real_ enemy appears. With prophecies and adventure on the horizon, Percy and Aphrodite are going to be closer than ever.**

**Don't forget to review, because Reviews=Faster Updates people!**

**Ohana!**


	8. We meet?

**Sorry to keep you waiting! No, seriously sorry. I was too busy playing _Kid Icarus: Uprising_, reading FanFics (Hm, who would've guessed?) and other things. I was also giving out free sneak-peeks to those who reviewed chapter seven.**

**Wanted: Beta Reviewer  
School (At least here in the Philippines) is starting soon, around the first week of June, so I won't be able to update a ton. Since most of my readers are from different countries, maybe they could help me out a little by beta-ing my story, giving me suggestions, and the like. To apply, just PM me with your kind of writing style and other things. Also send me a link to your best story so that I can review it and see if you're up for the job. The subject of the PM should be "Beta Application".**

**Reviews:  
linku1260: Fellow TLoZ fan! Hello!**

**anon: I like your user name! Very original! Jokes aside though, thank you for the review.**

**BigTacos4ever: Congratulations for being my 60th reviewer! But I thought you would be Bigtacos "Forever"?**

**Disclaimer**** on CH 6**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: We meet...**

* * *

"Now rub it," said Aphrodite. I reached out and grabbed the gelatinous object. I started rubbing it, much to the delight of my patron.

"Faster Percy!" she yelled, her teeth meshing together in anticipation. I decided to use my other hand to grab the other blob. I kept on doing that, Aphrodite encouraging me all the way, but eventually I stopped, my goal unreached.

"That would be way to hard to activate in the heat of battle, Lady Aphrodite," I said, setting the giant heart back onto the table. The heart was supposed to be a health grenade, so that you could heal yourself without having to eat or drink something. You could even throw it at a teammate on the other side of the battlefield and heal him. Sadly, the concept didn't work.

"Perseus, we need to make this work! We need this for the quest!" At the word "quest", my mind replayed the prophecy given by Rachel a few hours ago.

* * *

**A DEMIGOD AND HIS GODDESS**

**SHALL GO WEST TO FIX THIS MESS**

**ONLY THE STRONGEST FORCE CAN TELL**

**HOW THE ENEMY SHALL BE FELL**

**IT WOULD PUSH THE FOUR TO THE TEST**

**AND LEAD ONE OF THEM TO AN ETERNAL REST**

* * *

Sadly the duo mentioned in the first line wasn't Jason and Hera. And I thought this story was called _"Jason Grace: Champion of the Marrage Goddess"_. Yeah, someone should get on that idea! I mean Jason protecting married women and families would be way cooler than helping people fall in love, being chased by a crazy Moon Goddess, getting stabbed by the girl you just went on a date with, _being led to an eternal res_- oops, I went a little too far ahead in the story arc. Anyway, back to the story! **(AN: I know you want to kill me now, but just hear me out! Read the bottom AN for an explanation _after _reading the chapter.)**

"Maybe if I..." mumbled the Love Goddess, making the heart, which was as big as my head, smaller. Now it could fit in the palm of my hand. I recieved it from her and started rubbing, and after a few seconds, everything in a ten meter radius was enveloped in a heavenly light.

"Success, Perseus! Invention one out of three down!" said Aphrodite, doing her adorable little victory dance. "I can't wait to show this to Hephie after the quest!" See, the Hephrodite story was a little blurry. Aphrodite liked hanging out with Hephaestus before she was married, helping him tinker with things. That's when he developed feelings for her. When it was declared that she needed a groom, Hera, seeing that she was with Hephaestus a lot, gave her to him. Sadly, Aphrodite only saw Hephaestus as a friend, and started to get infatuated with Ares. That's why Aphrodite invents things.

I checked the clock. Five minutes to midnight. "My lady, we have to depart now if we want to meet Artemis and Sami in time." She nodded, extending her wings, the Wings of Beauty. What's with this story and wings?

We jumped out the window, only to get caught by Artemis' chariot, the one we were supposed to meet at CHB.

"Sorry to keep you waiting!" I said to the Moon Goddess and her Champion. Artemis nodded in reply, and Sami... looked at me with lust. Then I saw a Moon Arrow on the floor.

Before I could ask, Artemis said, "She stabbed herself with it while sharpening the arrowhead. It turns out that _someone_ disguised the Love Arrows as my arrows." Sami was now straddling me, her arms wrapped around my head. It took all of my self-restraint to not kiss her.

"Aphrodite, a little help here?" I said. _She won't help_, I said in my head, _She's having _way_ too much fun. She'll just say-_

"Okay," she said to my surprise. Then I noticed the glare my lady was giving Sami, who had pressed her body even closer to mine. She was becoming too irresistible for my liking. Aphrodite then closed her eyes in concentration. I looked back at Sami, who didn't look very different. No pink mist, nothing. Then Aphrodite opened her eyes, frustration evident in her eyes.

"I-I can't remove it. It's just like your old love for Annabeth, it's too embedded in her mind for me to remove safely," said Aphrodite. At that, Sami put her face into the crook of my neck, tickling me at the same time.

"Kids, no making out in the chariot!" yelled Artemis. Then the Chariot disintegrated. Aphrodite and I extended out wings, her catching Artemis and me catching Sami, who wasn't cooperating well.

"How about we have a little fun tonight?" said Sami with a seductive tone, unbuttoning my shirt. I was about to smack her hand away when I remembered I was holding her. Luckily, we landed in a forest clearing. Unluckily, we landed in a trap, a cage springing around us. I tried pulling out my weapons, only to find that they were to heavy to wield, just like on Mount Tam. I could tell that the goddesses were trying to flash out.

"My lady, I don't think this is a good time to poop," I said. Aphrodite kicked my... family jewels in response. "Soldier down!" I yelled, grasping my groin area.

"SILENCE!" an ominous voice yelled. Then the thing came into sight. He looked bored, but had a godly aura surrounding him. As always, he had _wings_ on. Come on, author, we need originality!

"Hello Mother," he said in a nonchalant voice to Aphrodite. Then his voice started to show more interest.

"I like this one. Filled to the brim with sexual longing!" said the winged man, pointing at Sami, who was now hugging my arm.

"Care to be more specifi- wait, did you say I was your mother?" said Aphrodite. "You must be an-"

"Yes, Mother, I am an Erotes. Specifically Pothos."

Then Artemis joined in, "Pothos, the god of sexual longing? I thought you went rogue!"

"My, Lady Artemis, it is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance. And yes, I have gone rogue, but I _am_ serving a god," said Pothos, twirling a key in his hand.

"Let us out!" I yelled, kicking the steel bars. Bad idea. The bars were charged with electricity, so when I hit it, I got shocked. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" I yelled, clutching my foot.

"Oh, the young Perseus Jackson! It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance too, though my master has it different," said the god of sexual longing. "That's why he had the bars electrified, along with the magic and weapons seal."

"Oh, are you okay Percy?" said Sami, who went and dived for my lips, capturing them perfectly. It was pure bliss, but that wasn't a good time to make-out. She broke apart. "Does that make it better?"

I would've answered, if Aphrodite hadn't tackled Sami, wrestling her to the ground. Ignoring the fighting women, Artemis asked, "Take us to your leader!"

* * *

"Sure, let them in!" said a cheerful voice. Phothos pushed the cage forward, opening the door at the same time. My eyes zoned in on a man sitting on a throne. Like most characters in this story, he had FREAKING WINGS! Gods, they're so overused I this fic! Besides the stupid wings, the cherubic angel wore a chiton and wielded a bow that looked eerily like Aphrodite's. Aphrodite gasped once she found out his identity.

"...Eros, my old companion, is that you?"

* * *

**Okay, put the swords down now! Remember that prophecies have double meanings! If you _really _want to know what the last line means, you could PM me, but please don't mention the spoiler in the reviews!**

**Also, apply to be my Beta Reader!**

**Goodbye!**


	9. I die!

**Sorry to keep you waiting, my Muffins! Yeah, that's what I'll call my PJ:CotLG fans, Muffins! Yeah, that's weird. Anyway, sorry for not updating on time! I had Advanced Geometry lessons, and boy, they are hard! Postulates and Theorems are way too numerous for my liking, and Proving is the bane of my existence! Also, I've been exposing myself to more experiences. Smash Bros. fics, Adventure Time fics, Vocaloid fics, I'm all over the place! Also, Starblade updated his/her Guardian of the Hunt fic! Percy dies, but so what?**

**I Need A Beta Reader!: Details in Chapter Eight's AN.  
**

**To all who want to know: I was born in the US, moved to the Philippines due to my Mom and Dad missing their home country, and I'm still here!**

**Sneak Peek Promo: If you can guess what game the special reference in this chapter is referring to, which is signified by the double asterisk (**), then you win a sneak-peek! Hint: It's a DS RPG made by Square Enix, praised for it's excellent use of both screens.  
**

**Disclaimer in Chapter Six**

**Enjoy my Muffins!**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: I die?**

* * *

"Yes, my old partner, I am the one and only Cupid!" he said, a tone of mischief in his tone. Sami came up from behind me and wrapped her slender arms around my waist. I noticed Aphrodite's eye twitch for some reason.

"B-But why are you keeping us captive?" asked my Goddess. That statement turned his smile turned upside down. "Why won't you let us go?"

"I have my own... intentions. Guards, take the ladies away. I want to talk to the young... _man_ alone," said the primordial god of love in an ominous tone. At that, the cage split itself into two, my companions in the other half. He snapped his fingers, and four demigods came in to the room

"Brainz..." the half-bloods moaned. It was pretty obvious that they were under Eros' control.

"T-The zombies are coming!" exclaimed Aphrodite, referencing the game... what was it called again? Plants Vs. Zombies? Artemis took a battle stance, while Sami looked at me flirtatiously, flicking her tongue in the air, as if licking my... oh _gross_!

The zom- I mean teenagers started pushing the cage out the door, leaving me with this demented man. He pushed himself off the throne, twirling the bow in his hands.

"Hello there, young man," he said. I could detect a faint French accent.

"Why did you control Artemis?" I asked bluntly. He smirked in response.

"Kids these days, so rash and imprudent!" said the God of Love. "I thought my successor taught you better."

"Um... imprudent?" I asked ruining the tension and living up to the nickname, "Seaweed Brain".

"I guess she didn't teach you better. Imprudent is the same as 'brash', you gormless demigod."

"...Gormless?" Eros facepalmed.

"Never mind. Anyway, do you know why you're here?" asked Cupid.

"I was about to ask you that," I said. Even if I only knew the guy for merely twenty four lines, he was already getting on my nerves.

"Well I won't tell you!" This was going to be a long night.

* * *

**INTO THE MIND OF SAMI REINHEART**

* * *

_Percy, Percy, Percy, Percy, Percy..._

* * *

**INTO THE MIND OF THE GODDESS APHRODITE**

* * *

She wasn't going to last the night. The guards had put them in a power-canceling room without _any_ beauty care products! How was she going to survive? Sami was still love-drunk, much to Aphrodite's dismay. She didn't want some murdering psychopath touching _her_ Champion. Not on her watch!

"You have a plan?" the Moon Goddess asked the Athenian. She giggled and put a thumb in her mouth.

"I bet Percy has a plan. He's amazing," replied Sami.

"Argh, think straight, my Champion!" yelled Artems, gripping Sami's shoulders and shaking her back and forth. "We need to get out of here _without_ Perseus' help!"

Aphrodite started wracking her head for an idea. How could they get out of there? Then she got an idea. She had invented something when Ares got bored of having "jam" sessions with her. Her invention made things more... _interesting_ for them both. She quickly started unbuttoning her skinny jeans, leaving her in her panties.

"Aphrodite, what in _Hades_ are you doing?" exclaimed the chaste goddess. Instead of replying, she removed her underwear, leaving her half-naked. "This is not the time to make yourself feel better!"

Ignoring her, she fastened her panties to the metal wall using what little goddess power she was allowed to use under the anti-magic force field surrounding the cell. She quickly donned her pants again and said, "Back away from the wall!" The two others obliged, sliding away from the panties. Aphrodite tapped the cotton and rushed to where Artemis and Sami where.

BOOM!

Explosive panties. When Aphrodite showed them to Ares one "meeting", he almost pissed his pants. After he got over the shock though, he eagerly jumped onto the bed, awed by the unexpected explosion.

"Now let's go save Percy!" she yelled, running to where she remembered the main chamber was.

* * *

**INTO THE MIND OF PERCY JACKSON**

* * *

This guy _loved_ to poke fun with me. Even when lowering my cage into a pit of boiling lava, the guy still wanted to make fun of me.

"******I can't believe you're _that_ stupid! I would've expected better out of Lady Aphrodite's servant. I suppose it's inevitable... sometimes... hee hee," said the primordial.

"And I suppose you're an ass. _All_ the time******," I replied, looking for a way out. I couldn't use my powers nor my weapons, the bars are electrified, and I'm being lowered into lava. I'm so scr-

BOOM!

A Michael Bay-esque explosion rocked the palace. I could hear a "Wrong way Aphrodite!" coming from the hall to my right. Eros brought out his bow and fired, breaking the chain that was lowering me. Luckily, Artemis used her godly speed to tackle the cage, sending the both of us tumbling to the side.

"Hades!" he yelled, aiming at the Moon Goddess. He fired, but Artemis dodged, the arrow hitting the cage's lock. I jumped out, doing a little victory pose once my feet touched solid ground. "Your going down Eros!"

"Contrary to your beliefs, Perseus, it is not I that is 'going down'," said Eros, his etiquette coming back, "it is _you_!" Then he brought out three rubies, throwing them at my companions. It hit them, their eyes glowing red.

"Awaiting orders, Master," said the three girls simultaneously without emotion.

"Kill the boy. I'll be on my throne if you need me," he said, walking towards his throne. "Hold it!" I was about to chase after him, when the girls jumped at me all at once.

Sami brought her dagger down. I parried the arc and sidestepped, narrowly avoiding Artemis' knives. Aphrodite was trying to snipe me, but her allies were blocking the way. I didn't want to hurt them, they were the only family besides my father I had left. I wasn't going to risk losing them. With Sami, the jewel was behind her neck, so if I swing too hard, I might kill her. Aphrodite was too far away to locate her jewel. Hopefully it was somewhere simple, like her hand. Artemis', on the other hand, is the one I couldn't locate. I put two and two together, and inferred that it was up her- I don't think I need to go there. I needed to knock them out somehow.

While these thoughts were in my head, Aphrodite got in a cheap shot and hit Riptide, sending it into the other pit filled with spikes. You see, before deciding to lower me into the lava pit Eros had to decide between lava or spikes. You know what he chose. Anyway, back to the story.

That stroke of misfortune caused a chain reaction of sorts. While I staggered from the force of Aphrodite's arrow, Sami stabbed me in the abdomen and cut my ankle, with Artemis following up with a kick to the manhood.

"Marvelous job, servants!" said Eros, clapping his hands in glee. I could barely feel my abs at this moment, the pain was just to intense. "Show them the power of love!"

"As you wish, my Lord," stated Aphrodite, Sami and Artemis at her side. I could barely move, due to my crotch on fire. Artemis' hunting boots had metal heels okay! Aphrodite raised her arm, a pink haze forming around her palm. This was it.

I was going to die.

"I-I'm finished," I whispered as Aphrodite hit me square in the chest, intensifying my old grief and effectively killing me.

I never thought it would end this way.

* * *

**Okay, I know you all want to kill me, but please hear me out! You could try to guess the special reference to win a sneak-peek and find out what happens next! Also, remember that _prophesies have double meanings!_ **

**I Need a Beta Reader!: Details in Chapter Eight's AN.  
**

**Goodbye, and don't forget to hit that blue (or yellow, depending if you use a PC or a phone to read FF) and review. More reviews = more updates people!**


	10. The Cave of Trials

**Sorry to keep you waiting! (Never gets old!) Oh yeah, what happened guys? The review count was peaking, then suddenly dropped to six? Why, you guys hate the ending of last chapter? Well I'm sorry.**

**Still Need a Beta Reader!**

**Sorry if there's a limited amount of humor, I just have no inspiration for it. Maybe next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson nor it's assets.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Cave of Trials**

* * *

I woke up, not in the Underworld, but in a cave. The cave was filled with magnificent jewels on the ceiling, and reminded me of a certain island. I tried to sit up, but a wave of depression hit me. Paul and Sally are dead, my friends are being controlled by a God of Love, Annabeth has passed away. The pink ray fired out of Aphrodite's palm reminded me of all my bad experiences at once and intensified the feelings, killing me through intense grief. It doesn't help that it hurt like the Styx. So how was I still alive? Or maybe this is what Elysium looked like? Would I be able to find Annabeth or my parents here?

"The hero awakes," said a woman's voice, cutting off my train of thoughts. Her delicate palm grazed my bare chest, signalling for me to lay back down. I looked back at my clothes. They look just like the ones from her phantom island. "I missed you, Perseus."

The girl tilted my head so that I could see her face. Snow white skin, luscious cinnamon hair, soft pink lips. Calypso. But that's impossible! Well, I did say that to Artemis liking me, but so what? She then hoisted me up to my feet, my grief forgotten. She was the only thing on my mind at the moment. She dragged me outside, towards where I remembered her garden was. It had basically every plant you could imagine there, with a big patch of moon-lace in the center of it.

"H-How did I get here?" I asked. Calypso brushed her hair past her ears, giving me a whiff of her tantalizing scent.

"I found you in," then Calypso looked around, her gaze lingering on a burnt tree, "that fig tree." Then she giggled, her voice worthy of angels. At the word "angels", my mind was shook out of it's reverie and was reminded of the reason I was here. Eros, the god of brutali- I mean love. I was reminded of my girl companions, who were under the influence of the mad man. I didn't want to break Calypso's heart again, but I needed to leave.

"Um, Calyp-" I was interrupted by the slim finger that was placed on my lips.

"Call me... Callie," requested the Titan, tracing my lips with her fingernails. My ADHD mind admired how round and smooth they were, and noticed the flirtatious smirk on her face. She was becoming pretty seductive, which was unlike the Calypso I used to know.

"Okay, Callie." She nodded in satisfaction. "Callie... why are you acting like this?"

"You do recall that us immortals usually have dual-personalities, right Perseus?" I nodded. "I have a nice side and a side with a... _bite_." She then licked her lips, looking at my pair with lust. No wonder poor Odysseus had to leave if he was stuck with THIS side of Calypso. I was lucky my first round, but this was a whole new ball game.

"_CalypsoIgottagosave_- mph!" She kissed me passionately, which was WAY better than any I've received before. A taste of Elysium. Our lips melded with each other perfectly, which made for a very pleasurable experience. Especially when she let my tongue into her mouth. Then a shrill scream filled the air.

"Calypso, hands off my MA- CHAMPION!" yelled Aphrodite out of nowhere. Then I saw the two wrestling on the ground. I turned around to see Artemis and her Champion beside her.

"H-How'd you guys escape?" I asked, astounded. "And how'd you get here?"

"When you died, my artificially enhanced love ceased, and with that surge of emotions, the Eros gem deactivated. So I freed Lady Artemis and Aphrodite and fled," answered Sami. "As for how we got here, we used God-Teleportation."

"Whah!" yelled Aphrodite, who got flipped into the air. Close-combat really doesn't suit her. I reached out and caught her, bridal-style.

"My lady, are you okay?" I asked. I received a slap in response. A hard slap. I dropped her out of surprise. "Lady Aphrodite, what was that for?"

"That was for kissing a Titan," said Aphrodite, "and this is for not leaving!" She then kicked - no, _shattered_ - my family jewels. It was like dipping my groin in the Styx. I fell to the ground, cradling my nether region. I looked at her footwear, just noticing the metal tip. Ouch. "Come on Perseus, we're leaving."

"...Can I just rest my balls first?"

* * *

I was on the floor of Artemis' chariot, still catering to my tender spot. Aphrodite had dragged me through the dimensional portal even while I was in pain. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Calypso.

"While you were finding your Champion, I was researching on Eros' gem. I've heard that there's a mysterious cave near Frisco where we can find out how to defeat this gem," stated Sami. My balls weren't on fire anymore, so I looked over the edge. We were flying over the Golden Gate Bridge, and headed for Mt. Tam. "and the mysterious cave is right on the other side of Mt. Tam." We swooped past the entrance to the ominous mountain and went to the side, revealing a hidden cave. I could almost hear an eight-bit tune play in my head.

We landed at the entrance. I hopped out and looked at the gold plaque above the cave's maw. I tried entering, only to have an invisible force impede me. I decided to read the inscribed plaque. "The Cave of Trials," I read out loud. "To enter, two must be united with the most powerful force in the world. What does that mean?"

"It might be a scientific force, like gravity, or maybe something only humans have, intelligence. The possibilities are endless!" stated the Daughter of Athena.

"Maybe chastity?" stated Artemis. Even without that jewel strapped on her neck, she's still pretty predictable.

"No, it's love!" stated Aphrodite, determined. She put her hands together and pulled back her arms. "Kame... **hame**... _**HA**_!" A pink beam raced forward from her hands, smiting the shield, but when the dust lifted, the force field was still there.

I guessed, "Maybe only people that are in love can pass through." The three looked at me in astonishment. Smart Percy is in the house! Artemis was the first out of her reverie. She grabbed Sami and I and squished us together, making us hold hands.

"I may not value intimacy, but it's worth a try," she said, nudging us forward. So we walked. As I passed by Aphrodite, her eyes were green with envy for some reason. When we reached the force field, we reached out with our intertwined hands. After applying all the force we had, it went through a little. Morale boosted by our minuscule success, we tried to go in deeper, only to get pushed back.

"I-It didn't work," said Sami.

"I guess, our love for each other... isn't strong enough." Then Sami got pushed aside, replaced my Aphrodite. "M'Lady, what are you doing?"

"J-Just do it, okay Perc- I mean Perseus," said my patron, who was flushed red. When we held hands, it felt perfect, reminding me of Annabeth's soft yet calloused hand. We reached out, and it passed through without a hitch. WE both took a step in, and the shield allowed us. I saw a lever on the wall, so I let go of Aphrodite's hand and pulled the lever. Instantly, the shield vanished.

"Well well well, brother, you passed the first trial!" said a voice.

"...Author, is that you?" I asked as Sami and Artemis entered.

"No, it is I, Chrysaor, son of Poseidon! I am also the commentator and keeper of the Cave of Trials!" said the voice. "Rosemary, prepare the Gauntlet Docks!"

* * *

**So yeah, don't forget to review. Please, I could use the feedback, and it gives me an idea on how many people actively read this.**

**Goodbye!**


	11. Intermission JG:CotMG

**As a little treat of reaching 89 reviews, I decided to add a little chapter for you guys. This was inspired by the "Fionna and Cake" episode of Adventure Time (Yeah, even though I'm a teenage boy, I watch AT. No shame.) Sorry for the brevity, but it's only a small treat. I also apologize for it's incoherence. It's just something that popped into my mind, so I only worked on this for an hour.**

**You could also say this is an alternate universe or something.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO nor it's assets.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Intermission Jason Grace: Champion of the Marriage Goddess **_(Takes place after the events of Chapter Six)_

* * *

I was running fast, my feet barely touching the ground. I was chasing a target who had done "Terrible Deeds", according to my patron. He was running as fast as he could, but he couldn't outrun me. Training really took a toll on me, especially peacock fighting, but it really increased my stamina. There was nothing that could stop me.

Whoa, what do you mean "Isn't this a repeat of the first chapter of PJ:CotLG?" This is a WHOLE new chapter people! An intermission of sorts. And who am I, you ask? I am Jason Grace, the NEW Champion of the Marriage Goddess.

* * *

_**FAST FORWARD TO THE PAST**_

* * *

"What kind of power is _this_?" I asked my new patron Hera. She was teaching me, a civilized roman, how to materialize cow poop. Yes, _cow_ poop. Dad damn it, Percy gets all the cool powers. "What am I gonna do, fling _feces_ at perverts?"

"Know your place, Roman," said Hera. Then her form flashed in front of me, turning into the Warner. "or will you only respect me in this form?"

"Forgive the impudence, my lady," my more disciplined side said. I couldn't believe Dad sold me to Juno just for her forgiveness. See, he had had an affair with a mortal again, and instead of taking the pain like a real god, he offered me to her as her servant.

* * *

_**BACK TO THE FUTURE**_

* * *

So here I was, chasing after a man who "touched" a married mother. Yeah, forgiveness and mercy aren't really Hera's strong points. I threw a piece of dung a few feet in front of the man and, as expected, he slipped on the organic bio-waste.

"Please, I'm only a college student, I still have a life to live!" exclaimed the man. I brought out a normal metal knife. What, not every servant gets a special weapon from their patron. Stop comparing me to Percy!

"I don't have a witty one-liner to say, so I'll just kill you now. Sorry," I said as I slit his throat. Then, I extended my peacock wings, soaring into the night sky towards that floating island in the sky. Olympus. I landed inside my patron's palace and greeted her. "My lady, the deed is done."

"Well done, my little servant!" she said, nibbling on an apple. "Now I have a different mission for you!"

I sighed. This was my thirteenth task for this day, and it's almost past midnight. "What is it, my lady?" I said, knowing that complaining is just asking for trouble. Her lips formed a smile. A mischievous smile.

"Well, Aphrodite and I made a bet. She thinks that Poseidon will have an affair with Athena before Zeus will be faithful to me for a period of at least a year," said Juno. She threw the core of the apple away and snapped her fingers, summoning a burger. She bit into it contentedly. "So far, my husband hasn't really been showing fidelity. Plus, Athena and Poseidon are already dating, him having divorced Amphitrite."

She turned around and brought out a quiver and bow. When I examined the arrows, the arrow heads were crescent-shaped and silver. "Here, Artemis had given me a set of specialized arrows that pretty much ruin love and infatuation. Also, be careful with the bow. That's one of the bows the hunters use."

"So, I when do I move out?"

"Now, they're at the Belvedere Castle," said my patron, finishing off her burger.

I replied, "Okay, my lady. See you later!" I jumped out of the window I had just broken, stabilizing my wings. I veer to where I remember the Castle was.

When I got there, I saw the couple on the top of the tower. Still floating in the air, I drew back my bow. Unlike some Heroes of Olympus, I'm actually pretty average with the bow, but I never use it. I released, just missing Athena's hand by centimeters. After cursing the wind silently, I aimed again and released. Missed Poseidon's beard because the duo moved. "Screw this," I said, throwing the bow away. I brought out two arrows.

"Wind, obey me," I whispered. I threw the arrows at the couple, using the wing to control them perfectly. I hit the Goddess of Wisdom on the cheek, and hit Poseidon on the arm.

"Pallas Athena," moaned Poseidon.

"Poseidon," sighed Athena. "Bed. **NOW**."

The Sea God's grin grew, and he snapped his fingers, probably teleporting his lover and himself to the bedroom.

I couldn't think straight. The arrow had the opposite of it's intended effect. Instead of crushing the love, it intensified it, making them want each other even more than ever.

Looks like my patron loses the bet.

* * *

**Sorry if you don't like this, but don't worry. Next chapter will be canon, and I don't think I'll dwell in the JG:CotMG universe anymore.**

**See ya!**


	12. The First Trial

**VERY IMPORTANT: _I'm sorry for the shallowness of the text_ (728 words_) but I may not be able to update often because, unlike most of you, my summer break ends this Wednesday. That's why I'm asking for a_ **beta**_ to cooperate with, to lessen the workload and to bring more to you guys. If you're interested, PM me, and I'll check to see if you could be my partner. As my assistant, I'll give you... a_ virtual cookie _and a_ shout-out_ per chapter__. Sorry, but that's all I've_** **got.**

**Yet another notice: If anyone is good at art and is interested in helping out this story, I really need a cover. Sure, it's only optional, but covers catch the eye of the readers, and I could really use that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO nor it's assets**

**Enjoy, Muffins!**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: The First Trial**

* * *

"The Gauntlet Docks will be up and running in twenty minutes," yelled a velvety voice, "and the lines to Hephaestus TV will be active in thirty." Wait, we're gonna be on TV? Before I could ask, Sami answered.

"Um, well... instead of researching on how to beat Eros, I just watched TV," stated Sami, blushing. "That's how I found out about the Cave."

"Fine, fine. So, the challengers are Perseus Jackson and his harem?" asked Chrysaor. At that, Artemis snapped.

"Whoa, I am not in his 'harem'," stated the Goddess of Chastity. "For one, I am an independent woman."

"I apologize, Lady Artemis," replied the son of Poseidon.

"Mister Chrysaor, sir?" asked his assistant, Rosemary.

"Yes, intern?"

"After Percy completes the trials, can I have his autograph?" asked the girl.

"...I have no control of what you do to the contestants after the trial," replied the deep voice.

"YAY! Ooh, the Docks are already ready!" exclaimed the excited Rosmary. "Make your way through the door to start the trial. One at a time please!"

I looked at my companions. Artemis' cool was still blown from Chrysaor's insult, so she might not want to go right away. Aphrodite, who had resumed holding my hand, was still green with envy due to Rosemary's autograph remark. Sami looked like the only one eligible to progress. "Sami, would you like to go first?"

"Okay," said the Athenian, pulling out her dagger. I winced. It looked just like Annabeth's. Once she said 'okay', a wooden door unfolded from thin air in front of the blonde. "Wish me luck!"

I saluted, to which she giggled, reminding me of the first day we met each other. Why I was reminiscing was unknown to me. After closing the door, it disappeared. We stood there in the dark, damp cave, the warmth of Aphrodite's hand the only constant thing. Then a shrill scream was heard.

"SAMI!" I exclaimed. Instantly, a metal door appeared in front of me. All I could think was 'gotta save Sami' and that was repeating non-stop, like a broken record. Without thinking I opened the door, throwing off Aphrodite's hand.

**_Gotta save Sami_**

In front of me was Hell itself. No, I'm not talking about the underworld, I'm talking about eternal fire. It was just an inferno of flames, with tongues of fire and lava everywhere. I looked off into the distance, to see a fifty foot Cyclops charging a broken figure lying on the floor.

_**Gotta save Sami**_

I pulled out Aphrodite's Love and notched a celestial arrow. No need for the cyclops to fall in love, thank you very much. I fired, the arrow merely bouncing off the cyclops's iron-hard skin. Cursing, I pulled out Riptide and wiped my forehead. The heat was so intense that it was stinging my eyes.

_**Gotta save Sami**_

I charged. The one-eyed freak was fifty meters from where I was, and that thing was already in striking range of my friend. It brought out it's sword, the blood red blade's gleam giving off enmity towards it's opponent.

_**Gotta save Sami**_

Sami was trying to get up, propping herself on her elbows. Her plaid shirt was ripped, and her body was covered in bruises.

_**Gotta save Sami**_

The Cyclops swung. I'm ten meters away.

_**Gotta save Sami**_

I block.

_**Saved Sami**_

I push back the Zanbato **(AN: A Zanbato is a Japanese sword capable of felling cavalry in one stroke. Imagine Cloud's Buster Sword from FF VII)** and took a defensive stance. I sneak a peek at Sami. She was already on her knees, her dagger wielded in ice-pick position. The cyclops stepped back and swung down in an arc. The sword's weight, combined with gravity and momentum, made it so that I couldn't block. I hopped to the side. Sami took the initiative, running up the blade and stabbing the cyclops in the eye.

"Argh!" it yelled, staggering towards the lava. Sami kicked off of the one-eyed head, making it's fall inevitable and using the momentum to stay out of danger. Unfortunately, she wasn't a gymnast, so she wasn't exactly falling with style. I reached out and caught her bridal style. I set her down, a sense of victory overwhelming me.

"Wow," said Sami, looking at the text above, "I would've never thought the story would be this descriptive!"

"I know right! Before, this was barely worthy of a fifth grader, but now, it's a proper fanfiction!" I said. Then a golden light enveloped the area.

* * *

**So yeah, there. Hope you like it, and review! Like I said, this story runs on reviews. More reviews, the farther this story will go. **

**I still need a beta and cover art, so I'll need your help with that.**

**See you later**


	13. A Chibi Percy!

**Sorry to keep you waiting! It's just that school and stuff has been filling up my free time recently.**

**Also, I think you'll be glad to know that this story will be going back to basics. Comedy mixed with a dash of seriousness, breaking the fourth wall, etc. I will also stop advertising here. Is that why you guys stopped reviewing? Oh, I'm sorry.**

**On the other hand, this story has finally reached 100 reviews! I would like to thank the followin- oh yeah, you're here for the story, not for my testimony. *sniff* Haha, just joking. Plus, I now have a number one fan!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own PJO nor Mario**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: A Chibi Percy?**

* * *

•••kdoe**mlej**fannabetho**wlfm**c**nsie**isi**rnwl**dornfdeadiwonw**fofk**r•••

"What the Hades is going on?" I exclaimed, passing through a golden vortex. The text above scared me, like a lethal virus entering a sterile environment.

"...Maybe FanFiction broke or something," replied Sami, inspecting the random text. "It looks like there's a secret message in the text." Too lazy to rack my brain, I tried to pass the time. Of course, I started playing around.

"Hey Sami, look at this!" I "backflipped", which, in the vortex, looked like I rolled backwards, since there wasn't gravity in the space pocket. I just did that, tumbling through the air. Sami was nonchalant, still floating in formation. "Come on, join me!" Once a stoic Athenian, always a stoic Athenian.

"I don't think I'll do that. Plus, your girlfriend will go all nazi on me for doing _anything_ involving you." She _was_ right though. Aphrodite was either over-protective or very jealous. Maybe even both. Luckily, Artemis' feelings for me were crushed along with the jewel I slashed in Chapter Eight, so the harem didn't have an all out **Brawl**. Though a catfight would've been an **Smash**!

Then all of a sudden, the vortex disappeared, leaving me tumbling to the ground. Of course, since Sami was flying in formation, she just had to right herself up, so she didn't crash to the ground like I did. "Ugh, I don't feel so good."

"Of course, males lack the endurance we females have," said Artemis, a scowl on her face. She extended her arm anyway. Taking the arm as a complement, I hoisted myself onto my feet using the goddess as an anchor. I turned to Aphrodite, who slapped my shoulder.

"Hey, what was that for?" I exclaimed. She blushed, yet her frown still didn't disappear.

"You're late. You are a Son of Poseidon, so act like one."

"What does that have to with anything? You're craz- agh!" Aphrodite jumped onto my back.

"You owe me a piggyback ride as compensation," stated Aphrodite, her tantalizing scent invading my nostrils. She put her nose in the crook of my neck, making herself more comfortable on her perch. Sami tiptoed to reach my ear. "It appears that she's suffering through her period."

"Oh, that explains _everything_!" I exclaimed. Aphrodite's impudence, imprudence and jealousy were all due to the fact that she's having her happy time.

Then the booming voice of Chrysaor echoed, "Well done. You are now one step closer to your objective."

"That was the last trial, right?" I asked. Aphrodite was starting to feel heavy, probably because her butt was getting bigger due to her adaptive beauty. _Chrysaor, you son of a gun!_

"What was the title of Chapter Twelve again?" asked the announcer.

I tried recalling it, though I was too distracted on Aphrodite's love to remember. "Um... 'The Last Trial' or something?"

"...And he dated an Athenian..." I was about to retort when he interrupted my train of thoughts. "_This_ is the final trial."

Then a steel gate appeared out of nowhere. Sami reached out of the handle, only for a trapdoor to open from under us.

"Haha, they always 'fall' for that! Ahem, Rosmary, my leeks? Thank you.

* * *

We fell onto a floating platform. It was a weird platform, to say the least, with a ton of blocks floating in the air. Pipes were on the ground, a mushroom was walking towards us, and a flagpole stood in the distance? This is officially the weirdest story ever. Then it hit me.

"... A platformer?" I had wings, Chrysaor. I could just go "Woohoo!" and fly over the obstacles completely.

"Perseus, don't even try to use your wings. I disabled them for the trial," bellowed a deep voice. Chrysaor. Sadly, his statement held truth, for I was unable to extend my feathery wings. I decided to focus on the enemy in front of me.

"Ladies, follow me!" I thrusted, impaling the mushroom in between the eyes. It disappeared, leaving a white number one-hundred in it's place. Artemis, of course, disobeyed. She decided to risk the pipe, falling into the murky depths of the tunnel. Her Champion followed. I looked over to Aphrodite.

"See you on the other side!" She jumped into the pipe too, leaving me all alone. Sighing, I stabbed upward, activating a ? block. Out of it came a flower. I jumped on top of the block, grabbing the flower.

"So...I have to _eat_ this?" I asked no one in particular. Reluctantly, I swallowed it. What did it taste like? Like shi- poop, that's what. I was close to spitting it out when a warm sensation within stopped me. I swung my sword, an arc of fire following it. "Hehe, this is gonna be fun!"

I ran, jumping over blocks and whatnot. Every enemy I faced stood no chance thanks to that flower. Then came those turtles with hammers. Right in front of the flag stood one of the amphibians, and when I looked behind me, another one stood. An ambush. Ugly number one lobbed his hammer at me, so I blocked. That was my mistake. Ugly number two threw his hammer just as I lifted my blade to strike the first hammer, so it hit me. All of a sudden, I felt the warmth of the flower leave.

When I tried reacting to the turtle behind me, Ugly number one touched me. No, not "hit" me, _touched_ me. I felt like a disgrace getting hurt by a turtle that just freaking touches me. I felt myself shrinking, my clothes and sword shrinking along with me. Now the turtles were at least twice my size. I took this chance to perform a spin attack, taking out both turtles at once. Using my stubby legs, I walked towards the flag.

"What took you so long?" yelled Artemis. "Of course, this is the best that could be expected out of a male like you." The three girls were already past the flag. The pipe they took must've been a shortcut or something. When Aphrodite saw me, she squealed.

"A chibi Percy!" exclaimed Aphrodite. "Oh my Goddessness, this is the cutest thing in the world!" She then proceeded to pick me up and hug me like a stuffed toy. I looked over to Sami, and seeing her smirk only intensified my frown.

"My lady, please put me down," I said, blushing like crazy. Sami brought out her iPhone and took some pictures, while Artemis was peeking over her shoulder every now and then. It seems even _she_ has a feminine side. Instead of answering me, the Love Goddess just passed through the castle arc, with my chibi self in tow.

Once we stepped out, we were in a chamber we have never been in before. The only thing in it was a sword on a pedestal. Luckily, I was de-chibified, so I wasn't as red as a firetruck.

"Draw the sword, Perseus," said the booming voice of Chrysaor. "and vanquish the Love God."

I stepped up, and grabbed the hilt. Mustering all of my strength, I pulled the blade out. The sword was magnificent, to say the least. The hilt was of a gold on blue design, and the grip felt as if it was made for me. The blade was colored a silver even the Moon Goddess behind me would be jealous of, and it's weight was perfect. The sword radiated pure power. The most significant thing though was the word engraved on the base of the blade.

_Excalibur_

"The sword's holy aura is so strong that it will shatter any Eros jewel within a kilometer," said Chrysaor. "Use it well, Servant of the Love Goddess." A door appeared in front of us. We went through, and our group was now in front of the chariot. We hopped in and set off, heading towards Olympus with Excalibur in tow.

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**So how was it? Hopefully it'll satisfy your PJ:CotLG craving till the next update.**

**Goodbye, and DON'T forget to _review_!**


	14. Fighting a MarySue sure is hard work!

**I'm SO very sorry for not updating! Wow, I didn't start the AN with "Sorry to keep you waiting!", I'm really surprised! Anyway, sorry if the comedy is a little on the light side in this chappie, and I'm also sorry for the brevity (again). **

**I'm also writing an original story. I know you don't like me advertising here, so if your interested in reading a short excerpt of the first chapter, just PM me.**

**Word Count: 1,160**

**Edit: I've started a poll on my profile, where you can vote for your favorite female lead/recurring character in the series. The results may not do much, but the characters in this story may mention it sometimes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Fourteen: Fighting a Mary-Sue sure is hard work!**

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Riding back on the Moon Chariot Mark II at noon, we were flying towards Olympus to prepare for the battle of battles. Looking over to the left, I could see Artie with the scowl that's practically glued to her face, and I could see that little Athena spawn. If she wasn't needed for the mission, I would've "bumped" her, and gotten rid of her permanently. Of course, my wittle Percy-chan wouldn't want that.

Have you finally noticed? I'm Aphrodite, your favorite goddess! Well, according to the poll, at least. Percy's too busy polishing Excalibur to narrate, so here I am!

Anyway, once we landed, Percy asked, "How the Hades are we supposed to find Eros' cave?"

The dumb blon- I mean Sami smirked. I _so_ wanted to smack the smirk off her smug face. "Percy, don't you remember what Annabeth usually said?"

"Um... 'Percy, you idiot! Don't do that!'?" replied Percy, scowling a little at Annabeth's name. Sami rolled her eyes.

"'Athena always has a plan.'" She brought out a bronze shield, but the reflection on it wasn't normal. It didn't show my sexy self, but a dark and damp cave opening. Percy's eyes widened.

"Annabeth's Video Shield!" exclaimed Percy. Sami nodded. The image then zoomed out, revealing that it's location was near the Belvedere Castle.

"This is where we need to go," stated Sami, unstrapping the shield and handing it over to Percy. He happily equipped it. I have to admit, it looked pretty good on him. Percy then sheathed Excalibur into Avalon, the sheath that had magically appeared on the blade one hour after it's removal from the pedestal. He looked like a hero. Hell, he even posed like one.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" said Percy, dragging Sami and I in the direction of the Moon Chariot.

"Not so fast, Son of Poseidon."

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My head whipped around, almost snapping. It was her. She was extremely beautiful, the natural kind, comparable to the likes of Aphrodite, Calypso and Helen of Troy. Her red eyes were now a cold shade of grey, yet her purple hair still long and flowing. It was Snow, on what seemed to be a pure white pegasus, which had a sheath with lightning bolts in it strapped to the saddle. Once it touched the ground, four springs sprung from where the hooves touched. The real Pegasus.

"Y-You?" exclaimed my patron, her hand shaking a little. I gripped it. I was also about to ask the two beauties something, when Sami asked it for me.

She questioned, "Wait... you two know each other?" To that, Snow merely chuckled ominously.

"Of course, I am her granddaughter, after all." After saying that, she whipped out a lightning bolt and threw it. I pulled down Aphrodite in response, the weapon sailing over our heads. I pulled out Excalibur, the sword practically singing as I pulled it out of its scabbard.

"Prepare to feel the love!" I exclaimed, dashing up to her and swiping down with the legendary blade. Pegasus flew upward, dodging the attack by a mile. I gritted my teeth. Snow's "Mary-Sue-ness" combined with Pegasus' legendary aura make quite the team. Plus, I was quite vexed. The swords aura should've destroyed the Eros jewel instantly, if Snow even had one. Was the sword broken or anything?

I tried unlocking the sword's potential. "HYAH!" I yelled, swinging the sword in an upward arc, like what the dudes in Drag_nball Z do. Nothing. I tried controlling the sword as if it was water. Nope, no reaction.

Looking over to the side, I saw Aphrodite pull out her bow. Sadly, every arrow she fired missed its mark, the Divine Pegasus dodging each and every one. Even with Artemis' firepower added, the stupid horse evaded the shower of arrows. Sami, on the other hand, stood there like a certain Detective C_nan, trying to find a flaw in Pegasus' flight patterns.

The white pegasus swooped in again, forcing me to halt my efforts to attack and start dodging. As the horse flew by, I got an idea. I jumped off Olympus. I stretched my wings, so that I could glide through the air. Thanks to that, Pegasus and I could now fight each other on the same plane. Both Snow and Pegasus took it as a challenge, for they stopped their attack on Sami, and swerved around to meet me. Even flying with its head turned away from the archers, Pegasus still dodged all of the arrows.

"Hehe, it was a mistake to leave solid ground, Sea Spawn," said Snow, her smirk turning into an ominous grin. "**BELLEROPHON'S REINS!**" She then threw all of her lightning bolts into the sky, which circled around the girl and her steed, and turning the brown reins she was holding golden. Then Pegasus charged. I had a feeling that if the strike connected, I would die. I held Excalibur up, pointing it skyward. Then, I tightened my grip, sending all of my energy into the sword.

"**EX-**" I yelled, wind ruffling all around me due to the sword's now even more immense power. The stupid steed was zoning in, only a kilometer from my position. It was on fire, literally, like a meteor. Right then, I was sure that that was a fatal blow, and that there was no dodging that. I gritted my teeth. It was me, the protagonist, against Snow, a freaking Mary-Sue who can not and will not be defeated. I had to change that.

"_**-CALIBUR!**_" As the built-up energy was released when I swung the blade, my world was filled with blinding light. All I could sense was the sword in my hand, and the energy coming off from Pegasus and Excalibur. As the light started to die down, a distinct cracking sound could be heard. I opened my eyes when it seemed like the light died down completely. Excalibur looked fine, a little steam coming off the tip of it. I felt drained, as if I fought the whole world. I looked towards the platform called Olympus. Snow looked bruised and battered, her hands still clutching Bellerophon's Reins. The others were approaching the injured woman. I flew down, sheathing Excalibur.

"Ugh," moaned Snow, getting up. On her arm were red shards, probably shards from an Eros jewel. She sat up in a criss-crossed position, extending her golden wings to shake off the dust. "What happened?"

"You were controlled by Eros, the former Love God," said Sami, disapproval evident in her tone. Artemis didn't look to pissed. Well, compared to Aphrodite. I had to calm her down somehow.

"My lady, now isn't the time to get mad at your granddaughter. Now that I unlocked Excalibur's full potential, we can now defeat Eros!" I said, trying my best to look like an idiot. Her frown turned upside-down.

Ruffling my hair, she said, "Okay. Plus, I'm pretty sure your readers want you to say the title of the book already."

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**I know, not much of a cliffie like usual, but I couldn't think of a good cliffhanger.**

**Don't forget to vote on the poll and review the chapter, and I'll see you next time!**


	15. Interlude: A Slice of Life

**After more than a one month hiatus, PJ:CotLG is back baby! Sadly, this isn't the epic finale you've all been waiting for. This is yet another intermission, pack with _SPOILERS!_ **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO**

**Enjoy this intermission.**

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_**Warning: This is post-Eros' Arc, so spoilers are eminent. If you're fine with spoilers, then go on right ahead.**_

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**Interlude: A Slice of Life**

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"Go on a date with me, okay?" asked Aphrodite. Of course, since we were technically already dating, I had no right to refuse. "How about we take a walk through the park?"

I nodded. A walk through the park would be nice. Maybe we could meet Sami and Hephaestus, since those two love birds were always together. Yeah, Sami wasn't a Champion of the Moon Goddess anymore, and yes, they were dating. How they got to the "dating" level, I don't know. Don't ask, because I'm pretty sure the author doesn't know either. I rubbed my arm, a little sore from last night's "Session" with Aphrodite. Yep, we were having "sessions" together, and I have to admit, Aphrodite was pretty good-_ oh Goddess, what am I thinking? _This story is supposed to be work-safe! Ah, I'll take a leaf from Artemis' book and say "Screw the Ratings".

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. It seemed that Aphrodite as getting to me. I decided to look out the window only to see Artemis changing in the nearby window **(AN: In this fic, Artemis' temple is adjacent to Aphrodite's)**. When Artemis and I locked eyes, the former got pissed. REALLY pissed. She teleported over to Aphrodite's palace and pulled back her fist.

"Wait, I can explai-"

"Goddess **PUNCH**!" exclaimed Artemis, her fist colliding with my face. The force of the blow flew me all the way...

...to Central Park, the location of the date. How convenient.

Of course, our date was pretty standard. Picnic (which was horrible, because neither of us could cook), walk through park, kiss on the cheek. Very standard indeed. Till an IM message came, showing Nico in all his sixteen-year-old glory **(AN: Percy is now twenty, which is why he and Aphrodite can have "Sessions", if you know what I mean**).

"Help, the Mary-Sues got past our defenses!" exclaimed Nico, explosions happening in the background. Debris almost cut off the IM, if it Nico hadn't swatted it away. "We won't last, since Seraphina Luviagelita Maria Edelfelt du Lot Herminium VII is leading the brigade. I mean, look at how freaking long her name is! Luckiy, Snow's on vacation in the Bahamas **(AN: How Stereotypical!)**, so we aren't overwhelmed yet."

Aphrodite seemed to want to take up the challenge, even if the situation isn't in her jurisdiction. "Percy, it seems we have to," said Aphrodite, who was putting on shades, "Marry those Mary's!"

All I could do in response to that corny joke was to face-palm.

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We were stationed near the pillars of the Arena, observing the Mary-Sues that were coming from the North Woods. Mi'lady and I were armed with the stationary Love Arrows. See, Aphrodite's plan was to make the Mary-Sues faint due to "Love Overload", like Artemis in Chapter Two. Athena, who overheard the debriefing, tried to correct Aphrodite, who merely responded with, "Aphrodite always has a plan! At least I _think_ that's how it goes..."

Anyway, after a few minutes of waiting did the league of Mary-Sues appear. I used my improved clairvoyance to seek out the heads of the Sues. Then, we rained lovey-dovey hell on the perfect women. Lot's of "NICO!" 's were heard, but the onslaught wasn't finished there. The Mary-Sues, probably tired of playing the nice card, started biting the campers, turning them into dull, boring characters unusable in novels. I gritted my teeth. They were _my_ brethren, and I didn't want to see their potential wasted.

"This. Is. _**CAMP HALF-BLOOD!**_" I cried, drawing Excalibur. Immediately, the Mary-Sues prostrated themselves, probably awed by the aura of the holy sword.

Then [_Unnamed Messenger A_] ran up to Aphrodite and I, saying, "They broke through our last defense! Brace yourselves!"

Perplexed, I exclaimed, "What the Hades? I thought Mi'lady and I already pegged at least fifty of them!"

"Sadly, instead of falling, they kept on going, with renewed vigor, in fact." Then the messenger left, only to get caught by a net thrown from seventy five yards . Those Mary-Bastards!

"On second thought, I think we should run awa- I mean make a strategic retreat." Without waiting for me, she dashed to the cabins, probably wanting to check her make-up. I would've followed, if a wail didn't pierce the skies.

"AHH, THEY GOT ME! HEL-_MMH_!" exclaimed a familiar voice. Nico. Concentrating, I looked over to where I suspected the voice came from. There, only a mere fifty meters from the woods, was Nico, bound and gagged by a bunch of teenage girls.

"Nico I'm coming for you!" I yelled, extending my wings and taking flight. Taking the saying "Drastic times call for drastic measures" to heart, I raised Excalibur skyward, pouring my energy into it. Thanks to my rigorous flight training with Aphrodite, I was above Nico's position in a heartbeat. I then swung.

**_BOOM!_** Campers, Sues, trees, just about everything was blown away by the Skyward Strike delivered by my hand. All that remained was a huge crater, and a _lot_ of bruised people. I stopped the battle all by myself.

I waited for the cheers narcissism, only to be greeted by boos. Without one word of thanks, they limped and/or crawled back to their cabins. I decided to check on Nico.

He was sobbing, clutching a picture of Bianca, which I must've tore in two during the carnage. When he saw me, he threw a rock in my direction, saying, "Just go away Percy!", which left me to think...

_...What did I do wrong?_

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**Wow, well there you have it. Also, don't go all shocked that the PJ:CotLG's poll is gone from my profile. Anyway, if you have any suggestions for the finale, please PM them to me personally. Leave your review clean of potential spoilers.**

**Don't forget to review, and goodbye!**


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